On Vaginas May 5, 2008

Oh, vaginas smell like heaven on a Summer’s day, and taste like ice-cream stolen from the sugar-pixies themselves.

On Matthew Broderick Accidently Saying Something Sexual On Morning TV May 5, 2008

I was interviewed by a regional news crew from the BBC in 2005 and somehow said the words “cock-sucking slut” when describing a road-traffic accident at a minor intersection.
These things happen.

On Margaret Seltzer Being Discussed At A 1930’s Dinner Party May 5, 2008

(note – Margaret Seltzer was found out to have created a fictitious memoir based on her fictitious memories of growing up in an LA “hood”. She also has large breasts)
SIR GEOFFREY
Why, Adams, you old dog, you – come closer, dear boy. I simply must declare my undying adoration of that filly Seltzer’s marvellous mountains!
ADAMS
I hear [...]

On The Titles Of Future Blogs I’ll Create To Get A Book Deal May 5, 2008

“Things I Should Tell My Cats, But Don’t”
“Thoughts On Air”
“The Poetry Of Spilling Rice”
“Heartstopping Beauties I’d Never Have The Guts To Even Say Hello To”
“Things I Hide At The Back Of My Sock Drawer”
“Sexual Fantasies That Would Get Me Fired Almost Instantly From Anywhere”
“Injured Donkeys, And Other Things Men Cry About When No-one Is Looking”
[...]

On The Difference Between American English And English May 5, 2008

We call ice-cream “daisy-dewdrop” over here. And cigarettes “rapists”.
(thanks “Moff”)